Am I in an Abusive Relationship? Recognising the Signs of Domestic Abuse
By D9Therapy.ie
Domestic abuse doesn’t always leave bruises. It can be quiet, hidden behind closed doors, or even masked as love or care. For many people, the realisation that they’re in an abusive relationship doesn’t come all at once — it comes in moments, in gut feelings, in noticing something just isn’t right.
At D9Therapy.ie, we want to offer a safe space for awareness, support, and healing. Whether you're asking yourself questions about your relationship or supporting someone you care about, understanding the signs of domestic abuse is the first step toward breaking the cycle.
What Is Domestic Abuse?
Domestic abuse is a pattern of behaviour used by one person to control, intimidate, or dominate another in a close relationship. While physical violence is one form, abuse can also be emotional, psychological, sexual, financial, or coercive control — and it affects people of all genders, ages, and backgrounds.
Common Signs You Might Be in an Abusive Relationship
1. You Feel Afraid of Your Partner
You constantly walk on eggshells to avoid angering them. Fear — not respect or love — drives many of your decisions.
2. Your Partner Controls What You Do
They might monitor where you go, who you speak to, or how you spend money. They may insist on having access to your phone or social media.
3. They Put You Down Constantly
You’re criticised, humiliated, or insulted regularly. Over time, you may begin to believe you’re worthless or to blame.
4. Isolation From Friends and Family
They discourage or prevent you from seeing loved ones. You may find yourself more and more alone.
5. Gaslighting and Manipulation
They deny things you know happened, making you question your memory or sanity. You’re made to feel like everything is your fault.
6. Physical or Sexual Violence
Any form of hitting, shoving, or non-consensual sexual activity is abuse — even if they apologise after or say it only happened once.
7. Threats and Intimidation
They may threaten to hurt you, themselves, or others if you try to leave. Threats can also include taking the children, ruining your reputation, or cutting off financial support.
8. Love Bombing and Cycles of Apology
The relationship swings between extreme affection and cruelty. After abusive episodes, they may shower you with gifts, promises, or apologies — only for the abuse to return.
Why People Stay — And Why It’s Not Your Fault
Leaving an abusive relationship is incredibly difficult. Fear, financial dependence, children, cultural expectations, or love for the person can all play a role. Abuse erodes self-esteem and hope, making it even harder to walk away.
But please know this: it’s not your fault. You are not weak for staying. You are surviving.
How Therapy Can Help
If any of the above feels familiar, you are not alone — and you deserve support.
At D9 Therapy, we offer compassionate, confidential counselling for those experiencing domestic abuse. Therapy can help you:
- Rebuild self-esteem
- Understand your experiences
- Set boundaries and explore options
- Heal from trauma
- Develop a plan for safety, if needed
Ready to Talk? We're Here for You.
You don’t have to have all the answers before reaching out. Even if you're not sure whether what you’re experiencing is abuse, a safe, supportive conversation can help you find clarity.
📞 Contact us today at D9Therapy.ie
📍 Dublin 9 | Online & In-Person Therapy Available
🧠 Safe. Confidential. Non-judgmental.
If you’re in immediate danger, please contact emergency services or reach out to organisations like Women’s Aid (1800 341 900) or Men's Aid Ireland (01 554 3811).
You are not alone. There is hope. And there is help.
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